Skin Deep
by Pokemon67
Summary: Summary: Questions about his mother have always been forbidden. Jace overhears Maryse and Jocelyn talking about Celine Herondale and wonders if the family resemblance he had been looking for in his father lies in his mother instead.
1. Chapter 1

**Me: Finished the Mortal Instrument series (ohmygoshohmygosh) and while I ****_love it_**** and already miss the charterers dearly (I'm not ready for the rest of the universe yet- though I do adore Emma and Jules) I have to say I am ****_appalled_**** at this fandom's lack of representation for Celine Herondale. Especially since I think there is some mention of a curse on the lovers of the Herondale's? Anyone?**

**Anyways, this is my attempt to do this poor girl some justice. I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing! Magnus even stole my glitter!**

_Pokemon67 is sorry for any and all grammar errors. _

Jace couldn't sleep. This wasn't anything new- most nights insomnia was his friend. Usually he would lay in the dark staring at the ceiling, waiting for the night to pass or sleep to eventually come; which ever came first. But tonight he felt restless. The urge to get up and move around plagued him. He had been pacing in his room for hours now, but he still felt awake and anxious. What he really wanted was to go into the training room and work himself until exhaustion, but with Maryse home he would no doubt be caught and lectured.

Jace stood in the center of his room, running his hand through his hair before deciding to go get a drink. Maybe there were some sleeping potions in the cabinet he could use..

Quietly, Jace slipped through the Institute corridors. He didn't know what it was about walking through the halls at night that made him feel like he was doing something bad. Maybe it was because wandering around after hours in Valentine's house had been expressly forbidden. In any case, he walked carefully, fearful of waking someone up. Not that they would yell at him for being up he supposed…

He reached the hallway leading to the kitchen when he heard voices. Puzzled, he approached, staying close to the wall so as not to be seen. He wondered why the occupants didn't bother turning on a light.

''You didn't know, Maryse.'' Jace was surprised to hear Clary's mother's voice. ''You couldn't have.''

''I just wished I saw her in him,'' Maryse confessed sadly. ''I feel like I should have.''

''You weren't exactly Celine's best friend.''

Celine? His mother?

Maryse sighed. Jace could hear the clinking of a mug hitting the kitchen counter. ''I wasn't nice to her. I hated her for replacing Amatis.''

''We all resented her a bit.''

''You didn't.''

''I wanted to. It wasn't her fault, we all knew that. But still…''

''We should've seen what was going on with her.''

''Maryse, we were twenty years old with toddlers!''

''Yes, and she spent all her time with us! Don't you think if she had friends she would've been with them?'' A silence fell over them. ''I should see her in Jace and I don't.''

''You thought he was Michael's son. Everyone did. And other than his eyes, there really isn't much of Celine in his physical appearance.''

Maryse's voice rose in anger. ''That's not good enough! if I died, I would want someone to tell my kids-'' her voice broke.

''Oh, Maryse.'' There was pity in Jocelyn's voice. ''You didn't know. It's not anyone's fault.''

Jace could picture Maryse fiddling with her mug. ''We talked about Beatrice and Micheal. Not often- he never really admitted to wanting to talk about his parents. We figured Micheal would've talked about his wife.'' She let out a sigh. ''I should see Celine in him, be able to tell him about his real mother. He has that box of letters from Amatis that Stephen wrote. He should know something about his mom.''

''You're his mom.''

''And I know nothing.''

It was Jocelyn's turn to sigh. ''There is Celine in Jace. I mean, sure, he has Stephen's hair and build, but-'' she trailed off, thinking over her next words. ''I can see when he talks to Clary, when he forgets himself. The way he stands with his hands clasped in front of him. And the balancing! I know Jace has that because of the Angel blood. Celine couldn't jump 30 feet straight in the air, but don't you remember how she had to walk along every ledge? And the piano, Maryse? How she seemed to dance as she payed?'' Jace could see Jocelyn shake her head. ''Maybe it's because I knew from the start that Jace was Celine's son, but even thought he doesn't look like her, his mannerisms, those are all her.'' Jace could hear Jocelyn's chair scrape as she stood.

''I took in Michael Wayland's son,'' Jace was alarmed to hear how close to tears Maryse was. ''I can't help but wonder — if I had known he was Celine's— I wonder if I would have felt compelled to do so.''

Another silence filled the kitchen. A cold feeling wrapped around Jace's heart.

''But you did take him in,'' Jocelyn said, almost in a whisper. ''You did, Maryse.''

There was something in her tone that made Jace wonder is she was holding something back, something she was thinking but didn't feel was right to share with Maryse being so vulnerable.

''She was nineteen,'' Maryse said quietly. ''Nineteen, un-welcomed by most of the Circle, knew her husband regretted marrying her, and eight months pregnant when she decided to slit her wrists. It wasn't the first she did it, I'm sure of that. Then, Valentine…''

''Cuts her open.'' Jocelyn's voice was like iron. ''And I don't believe for one second she was completely dead while he did it.''

That cold feeling wrapped tighter around Jace.

''We failed as her friends, Maryse, but you did right by her son.'' Jocelyn's shoes clicked as she walked over to her. ''I know that.''

''Jocelyn…'' There was hesitation in Maryse's voice. ''If he ever asked- and I don't know if he ever will- but if he did, would you be willing to, to tell him what you told me?''

Jocelyn paused before answering. ''Of course, Maryse.'' She sighed. ''I suppose we owe Celine that much.''

Jace, forgotten his thirst, slipped silently back the way he had come.

**Me: I plan for another chapter with Jace and Jocelyn. We shall see if it actually comes to fruition.**

**I hope you enjoyed! If you have time, please leave a review! (If you have lots of time, shoot me a PM and we can scream at each other about how much we love this series).**

**Happy Writing!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Me: Thank you for reviewing this story! Here is a second chapter. I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own not a thing! (except a duck. You wanna pet it, Jace?)**

_Pokemon67 is sorry for any mistakes. _

Since life had returned to as normal as it ever got for Shadowhunter's, Jocelyn Fray had made it a priority to get to know Clary's boyfriend. This included casually hangout sessions, movie nights, and dinners.

Clary chuckled as she read a message on her phone. ''Apparently Simon left a game he borrowed from Eric here. He needs me to bring it so Eric can pick it up before going on vacation.'' She pulled her chair out from the table. ''I'll be back in twenty minutes, Mom.'' She looked at Jace. ''Come with me?''

Jace winced as he looked at the clock. ''Sorry. I need to be at the Institute for morning patrol. Simon's house is in the other direction.''

''That's fine.'' She kissed him quickly, both of them very aware of Jocelyn's eyes on them. ''See you tomorrow.'' She waved to her mother before bounding out of the house.''

Jocelyn began staking the plates in front of her. Jace, feeling suddenly embarrassed without Clary, stood quickly. ''Thank you for the meal,'' he said politely.

''Anytime,'' Jocelyn returned. Jace prepared to leave, but knew he had to say something.

''Jocelyn,'' He began slowly. She raised an eyebrow. ''Um, I just wanted to say that I sort of, overheard you and Maryse the other night.''

She straightened suddenly. ''Oh.''

''Sorry,'' he said. God, this was awkward. ''I just wanted to say, I know Maryse asked you to tell me things about Celine, but you don't have to.''

Jocelyn softened a bit. ''I can, if you want. I mean, I wasn't her best friend, but I did hang out with her for a while.''

''Yeah,'' Jace said. He had meant to leave it at that, but the next question came out on its own. ''Who was? Her best friend, I mean.''

A guarded expression came over Jocelyn's face. She looked at Jace carefully. ''Do you want the truth?'' she asked, her tone similar to that of when she talked to Maryse in the kitchen, that tone that she was hiding something.

Jace nodded.

Jocelyn thought about her words as Jace hesitantly sat back down. ''Your mother was an excellent Shadowhunter,'' she began. ''Really, one of the best. That is what brought her to Valentine's attention I think. But she lacked something that most other Shadowhunter's had…'' she took a deep breath. ''When I was at Renwicks, when Valentine talked to me, he told me about you. About Celine. Celine had no family, no friends, no connections. So he knew, if push came to shove, that if she needed to go away…''

''He could easily get rid of her,'' Jace finished solemnly.

Jocelyn nodded. She traced her finger along the table, as if swirling paint around. ''I remember once seeing a term. Grooming. It made me think of Celine and Valentine.'' She paused again. ''Not that Celine ever thought of Valentine in that way, or he her, but the idea of paying special attention to her, of being the only one who really _saw_ her. It made me think of her.''

Jace hadn't wanted this conversation, but it had somehow begun and he didn't want it to stop. Not yet. ''Maryse said,'' he said slowly, looking to see if Jocelyn would object to continuing the conversation. She waited expectantly. ''That when she cut her wrists, how she didn't think it had been the first time.''

Jocelyn inhaled sharply. ''Celine…had problems,'' she admitted. ''I can't know for sure, but it would explain a lot. Why she didn't have friends, why she was so isolated. Shadowhunters don't really deal in mental illnesses. It would be understandable. The treatment a lot of people gave her, with Stephen and the letters…''

''She knew about them?'' Jace asked. ''That he sent them?''

''Oh, yes. That was a big fight. It was the middle of the night, Valentine and I had just gone up to bed, when Stephen bursts into the house, asking where Celine was. Celine had found the letters and they had argued and Stephen said…stupid things.'' Jocelyn shook her head in remembrance. ''She had stormed out of the house, perfectly in her right to do so. But it had been hours.'' She winced. ''During the fight, she told him that she was pregnant.''

Jace digested the news. ''He didn't treat her well, did he?''

''Oh, Jace, he tried.'' Jocelyn sighed. ''Stephen and Celine, the one thing they had in common above all else is that they both wanted to do the right things, lead their lives the right way. Celine and her being a perfect Shawdowhunter, Stephen divorcing Amatis on Valentine's say so. The only real difference was that Celine's feelings and beliefs didn't conflict like Stephen's did.''

Jace nodded. ''Did her views of the Circle— I mean, I know Stephen was Valentine's right hand for a while. But both of them, did they really believe to the same extent as Valentine?''

''Valentine was careful about how he advertised,'' Jocelyn said. ''The Circle's aims were clear in that they thought of exterminating demons and stopping rogue Downworlders. It was only when you got closer and closer to the center of the Circle did you start to see the extreme of Valentine's beliefs.'' She sighed. ''Since he killed them both…''

Jace took a shaky breath. ''Another thing you said was that you didn't think she was dead when Valentine…''

Jocelyn didn't meet his gaze. ''I don't know for certain,'' she disclaimed. ''But I know, during those days before the Uprising, before everything fell apart, Valentine tried to…'' she trailed off, casting through her thoughts. ''He tried to really wonder what he was doing.'' She sounded frustrated at her own lack of being able to convey. ''It's just, when Luke was turned, Valentine gave him a dagger and sent him off. With Celine, he did it himself. Hodge was there; he could've sent him to do it. I think it's strange he attended to the matter himself.''

''Why do you think she wasn't dead? I mean, Valentine gave choices. It made sense if he came after she killed herself- she chose.'' _No matter how forced the choice was._

Jocelyn looked him square in the eye. ''I think, since he was doubting himself, he thought, in his own, screwed up mind, that if he could look a nineteen year old girl in the eye, a girl he knew since she was fourteen, and cut her open, take her baby away, then he could do whatever his cause needed him to do.''

Jace nodded his understanding. A silence fell over them. There was no real way to continue the conversation. ''Thanks.'' He stood up, ready to leave.

''Jace.'' He turned, reluctant, looking at Jocelyn. ''You need to know…'' she trailed off. ''You need to know, before the Uprising, when Celine would spend time with Maryse and I, she was really excited about being a mom.'' She sighed heavily. ''And judging by the way she helped us with two teething toddlers, she would have been a really good mom too.''

Jace bit his lip. He smiled his thanks and quickly retreated.

Outside, Jace was immensely grateful for the cold air that washed over his face. The conversation he just had left him feeling numb and empty. As he trudged home, he tried to imagine Celine. Jocelyn had said Valentine knew her since she was 14. He wondered how they had met, why they had met.

Celine had been 18 when she married Stephen. Jace thought back to Jocelyn's and Luke's wedding, how they looked at each other and couldn't stop smiling. Was that how Celine had looked? How had Stephen looked, marrying another woman when his heart still belonged to Amatis?

Celine's desire to be the perfect Shadowhunter in every way possible echoed Jace's own aims. He wondered if she were reckless in battle. Her problems that Jocelyn suspected her of having— Jace wondered if she was where he got his OCD from.

Jace thought about the fight Jocelyn had alluded to. Stephen, pounding on the Morgenstern's to help find his angry, reckless, pregnant wife. He wondered how it started, how Celine discovered the letters. What stupid things had Stephen said to her that made her leave in anger? That made her announce her pregnancy in such a manner?

_She had no friends. _Jace imagined her being with Jocelyn and Maryse, both of them not to thrilled to have her around. He wondered what she thought as she played with their two toddlers, wondered exactly how she pictured her life being like once she too was a mother.

_'__She would have been a really good mom too.'_

19, married to a husband who wasn't happy, hated by the cause you joined for the woman you replaced— Jace could see why Jocelyn and Maryse suspected Celine of being depressed. Had she been excited to be a mom? Was she looking forward to having someone depend on her when her life was in such turmoil?

_What would she have named me?_

It made Jace dizzy thinking of the life that could have been. He didn't like dwelling on such thoughts. It made him fear like he was being ungrateful for the life he did have. But every now and then a thought like that would occur, a small detail that might have been that would make him and the life he lead so much different from the present.

Jace shook his head. He hopped onto the raised sidewalk border, hoping the balancing would distract his mind. He felt strange learning about his mother. Growing up with Valentine, he had been to young to ask such questions. And then it had been to late. Besides, he had Maryse.

Clary had been right, that night on the Accord's Hall steps back in Idris. The Lightwoods were his family, Maryse his mother. Just because he went by Herondale know didn't erase their influence on him.

Jace paused, staring at his feet. Learning about his past, his family, was hard. But he was lucky in a way. He still had a family even though his birth parents were taken from him.

_'__..Don't you remember how she had to walk along every ledge?'_

_'__He may look like Stephen…'_

Jace couldn't help a grin. His parents were gone, but he was bits and pieces of them walking around, living on. Perhaps that was cheesy, but it was true.

Jace hopped off the ledge and walked home.

**Me: Thank you for reading! If you can, please review!**

**Happy Writing! **


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